Yes please.

I have, for as long as I can remember, wanted to live in an old loft. A space with exposed bricks and pipes. A space that doesn't look super polished and perfect. A space with character. 

And I love color! I love being eclectic! I love repurposing items.  So when I found some of these pictures again today, I became super excited and inspired. The images were found in the archives of Design*Sponge. One of my favorite blogs for inspiration.

 

 I'll take this as is- Thanks!

 

Love, Love, LOVE the color and the velvet!

 

These bookshelves are incredible and I love the loft feel.

What a day brings

I went to bed anxious last night. I woke up the same way. A heaviness and sadness was on me. But God has shown up in countless ways today to encourage me. Through various songs, through various people, through various scripture, and through various readings he has shown himself.

Just a few of them:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." – Phillipians 4:6-7 NIV

“Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” Phillipians 4:12 The Message

“You have no idea of where God is going to engineer your circumstances, no knowledge of what strain is going to be put on you either at home or abroad, and if you waste your time in over-active energies instead of getting into soak on the great fundamental truths of God's Redemption, you will snap when the strain comes; but if this time of soaking before God is being spent in getting rooted and grounded in God on the unpractical line, you will remain true to Him what ever happens.” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Oct 19

Now I’m about to go to bed again, and my source of anxiety hasn’t disappeared, but I don’t carry the anxiety. My God does, and I’m happy.

I'm only human.

To say you are just "human" doesn't mean you are capable of faults only. It means you are capable of truth, honor and nobility. To be human is to be created in the image of God, and truth, honor and nobility are his traits.

 

Striking thought! So I was sitting in a church service yesterday listening to a guest speaker, Nathaniel Dunigan, when he said this. Okay, well I have paraphrased his thought. But I can't get it out of my head.
 
In the past few months, I have felt challenged to live life beyond what I've known before- to move out of my comfort zone and into the world God has invited me into. As much as I am excited and wanting to do this, the temptation of fear and doubt sets in on occasion, and I feel that I can't go beyond a certain point. "I'm only human God!" I cry out, as it is my "Get Out of Jail Free" card. By somehow saying this God is going to say, "You're right, you don't have to do what I'm calling you to." Or saying I’m human, it allows me to freely hide behind what I think I cannot do.

Hiding behind what I think I cannot do. Yes. This is where I get stopped. I think I’m small, that I’m one person, that I make mistake. All are true. But with God it can’t stop there. I’m learning his plan goes so much further than what I know of it, or what I see of it. I think that my efforts won’t add up to much.

Back to Nathaniel. He was one man who went to Uganda and saw that there were orphanages, but none that catered to children with AIDS. He knew that he had to do something. He started AIDCHILD, a facility to help orphaned children with the disease. He was talking of a conversation with one of the children when he mentioned the quote from above. This child said, “ But I’m only human.” I don’t recall the exact reason the child said it. But I was caught by Nathaniel saying he discourages the children to say this with a negative connotation because it limits what and who God is and what he had made us to be.

I don’t want to limit my God and his power over me. I’m am made in His likeness. He’s beautiful which means I am. He’s truth, I have truth. He’s noble, I can be noble. He’s full of honor. I can bring honor in my life. Be imitators of God- Ephesians 5:1

I am not fully aware of what is happening in my life right now. But I know God’s working. Inside of me, there is a capability of doing something noble, something beyond myself. So when temptation comes to say, “I’m human,” a need will arise to evaluate if I’m acknowledging that I’m made in God’s likeness.

I'm guest blogger

I was the guest blogger over on my company's website. Check it out:
http://sherrimayco.com/2010/10/how-to-make-a-physical-and-mental-transformation/

Where to now?

About 10 weeks ago I was sitting at my kitchen table, trying to prepare a lesson that I was going to share with my team that was heading to Northern Ireland. We were supposed to leave in 3 days and I had yet to figure out what I was going to share. I started freaking out a bit, but a scripture passage came to mind. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work with in us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!” Ephesians 3:20. Do you ever have moments when something just clicks and you know you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing? This was one of those moments. This is what I was supposed to share with my team. Little did I know that it was maybe more of a reminder or kick-starter for myself than for my team…

Today is two months that I’ve since returned from Northern Ireland. The trip, I think was one of the most important things I’ve done in my lifetime. It’s taken two months of thinking it through to formulate a blog that can explain even a portion of it– and that’s still questionable if it will. Every day there’s a new insight I’m seeing on why I was there, and what I’m taking away from it.

When I boarded a plane to head to Northern Ireland, I expected to be a chaperon of 9 teenagers who were going to serve people in the city of Coleraine. It was a missions trip for the youth at Vineyard Community Church. I expected to help them, and help people I met. I expected to walk the streets talking to people I’d never met and most likely won’t see again in my lifetime, to serve them in unknown ways. I felt hesitant to go on the trip even up to a few days before leaving. “Why am I doing this?” “How can I do anything to impact N.I, let alone the kingdom of God?” “Lead teenagers?”

I didn’t expect my life to change. But it did. I prepared a lesson about a God who can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, but I didn’t take into account that this was a lesson God wanted me to hear too. In Coleraine, I was faced with so many moments of weakness, and being broke down before my team and before God. Fear overtook me on occasion, to be superseded by His amazing power. Opportunities to talk with the teens and fellow leader I went with, were given in abundance. Times of transparency of my life had to happen–often. Strong reminders of where I’ve come from and how God’s woven His way through it all were shown to me like a map. “See Katie, this is where you were, and I restored this decision. I was there in that moment. I introduced you to that person. I held you here. I’m talking to you now. And I’m in your future.” I was meeting people half a world away who shared the same struggles as I do. I met new friends that I’ll cherish always. Issues of love were hitting me left and right. Being completely transparent- this is my biggest struggle and the one I’ve kept the closest to me and shut away from everyone, and yet it has been laid bare for everyone to see against my desires. Almost all of the trip I was surrounded by people, loud people, when I was accustomed to the quietness of living alone. Laughing at myself was required. All of it was out of my comfort zone.

I can’t really say I was comfortable in my life before going to N.I., but I was accustomed to life. I had certain motivations for my life. I knew what to expect. I knew and understood patterns of the daily grind. I am a graphic designer, a problem solver, a fixer type of person. I like trying to see the puzzle and find a solution amidst the chaos. And this trip clouded that vision in so many ways, only to open to a much clearer version. His version.

Before leaving some other passages had been brought to my attention: 1 Kings 6:8-18 and Matthew 14:22-33. Both passages were the basis’ of each sermon I heard in Northern Ireland. Each are about perspective change and God showing up in ways we couldn’t expect or comprehend.

I’m realizing that’s what all of this is about. My perspective was wrong to see where God has really been transforming my life, and he wanted/wants to change it. I just had to come to a place where I could allow that. I still, everyday, have to come to that decision, just like everyone.

I said earlier that everyday brings new insight, and today was no different. But today brought some answers of my job. I was at a conference surrounded by the “Phoenix Design Community” as they’ve called themselves, and the last speaker of the day presented ideas that really struck a chord. I’m a designer, its no secret to anyone that designing impacts my life. But has it ever played in reverse? Is it apparent that my design is effected by my decision to follow God? A big question coming back to the states was, “Am I doing the right job? Yes. Being a graphic designer is where God has placed me. I’m paid to put things in front of peoples faces. What am I doing about that? How will I leverage that to lift up the Kingdom of God? The presenter didn’t pose the question of God, but yet he posed how does your passion of ________ impact your design. I filled in the blank.

So many other revelations have come about in the last two months too, that I am super excited about. I just have to keep clinging to “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work with in us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!” Ephesians 3:20. It’s God’s glory, not mine. Never mine.

Back in time.

It's interesting to me how you can stumble across old letters or journal entries and it can suddenly bring you back to the time and place where they came to life. In an instant, you are back to a kitchen table, a library meeting room, a pathway with any number of people. The memories still seem so fresh yet so far behind me that I can't believe that I actually wrote some of those things.

Needless to say, I just re-read some letters and journal entries from about 4 years ago. Interesting reads.... Even these old blog entries that are now 2+ years old....

Patriotic or Crazy?

So I can't help it. I don't cry really at girly sad movies, like the Notebook, Beaches or Steel Magnolias, but play some patriotic music, and I start choking up. Yup, "I'm Proud to be and American", "The National Anthem", "You're a grand ole flag" "Battle Hymn of the Republic"... they all get me. Especially when I can see them in front of live band.

So as the 4th of July was two days ago, I was pretty excited. This year was the first in four that I haven't had to work on the holiday, as well as the first in four that I've been with family. And it was a good day! It was 114 degrees, I was sitting poolside with my family at a BBQ and I didn't get burned in the slightest. That was most assuredly my best achievement of the day.

But I was torn on this day, as I am for most 4th of July's. My weird patriotism was calling me to find parades, and fireworks and bands, but my family absolutely did not, most friends didn't either. My family wanted to be together playing games, making food and relaxing. I opted for the family because that's what holidays are about- being with the ones you love, but the radio, whenever I could was playing all the music, even if I was hearing my 7yr old nephew saying "This old music is putting me to sleep". Shocking to me!!!

I'm not this patriotic any other time of the year. I'm proud but I'm not zealous. There is a difference.

My other growing idea for the 4th...It didn't start on purpose, but I try to be in different cities for the celebration, just to see the differences. it was by chance that I've been in several different places on the 4th of July celebrating the nations birthday. But still, its fun and the list is growing.
My list includes:
*Marlborough, Keene, Walpole, and Nashua New Hampshire - these were fun, but my fascination with the holiday hadn't started yet.
*Erie, PA- youth group trip that was so much fun
*Washington D.C - Fireworks were okay, but not to par for the Nation's captiol. My uneasinesses was maybe at its height in all of my life, I'm slightly claustraphobic in moving crowds, especially when they are all leaving the fireworks headed for one subway entrance. no fun!
*New York City- the first celebration after 9/11. Can I say the most incredible show I've yet to see. Claustrophobia didn't seem so bad this time.
* San Diego,CA- fun with friends over multiple years and locations
*Colorado Springs, Co - Almost missed any celebration because of work, but Michelle, Grant, the kids and myself ended up shooting fireworks from our own driveway
* Los Angeles, CA - I gave up all effort since it was 4 days after moving to a new city and I was with no one I knew, so I watched Gone with the Wind
*Phoenix,AZ- we thought a monsoon was about to hit, lightening and storm clouds told us metal folding chairs on the side of the road might be a bad idea. saw fireworks on tv and I wanted to cry.
Where shall I be next year?? I don't know yet but I'm excited to try to figure that out.