Its 12:58 am as I begin this blog and I am wondering how in the world I've managed again to find myself completely awake with no sign of sleep on the forefront. This is part of the changes I have began to face yet again as I am settling into my new home of Arizona. Oh, it's not a choice to be awake when no living thing should be awake, but alas, I am.
A few months ago I wrote about the new night soundtrack of my life. Well that has all been replace by utter silence again. By leaving LA, and moving to Arizona, I see stars in the sky, I see undeveloped land, but I don't hear anything. Nope. Nada. And the silence is deafening.
But besides noise it not the only thing keeping me awake at night. It's this crazy list of changes I have managed to make in the relatively short start of this year that having me guessing my wisdom. But more importantly is having me come before God and say "take it all."
Early in January, I decided to approach the world of online dating. After some choices made in the world of men that left me hoping for more, I needed to do something new. It has been an enriching expierence. Out of over 400 matches eHarmony has made for me, 85% were not suitable matches by either my standards or for the gentlemen on the other end. Some might think, ouch! But when otherwise in my life would I have even been given the opportunity to be given the names of these men let alone a glimpse into their lives. And out of the total some have gone from simple predetermined questions to weeks of emails and phone calls. Some have even evolved to face-to face meetings. My opinion on the matter. Its a tool to meet people that I never thought was possible. Is it meeting the guy next door and falling in love? no. but it works...and on the horizon...someone is getting through the cracks of the eharmony system into my world... is it going to be something. I can only hope. but it is TBD. :)Happy thoughts keep me up though
Besides my january decision then came my February decision. Partially my decision, and partially circumstances laid upon me. Time to find a new life. New life in the sense of locality, and of jobs. It became apparent that Los Angeles was no longer where I was to be staying. Some good things came from LA, but lets face it, I'm not an LA kinda girl. The glitz and glam has never been my thing. We all know the lyrics of the Cheers theme songs " we wanna be where everybody know my name" and it was not going to happen in LA. I'd played out the San Diego thing and I left there knowing it was time to go. So though, the friends idea was tantalizing, where was another place where the lyrics could take hold in my life. You guessed it, Arizona. Land of the sun, location of the grand canyon, and residency of a majority of my family.
I walked into my boss' office, quitting my prepress job in Santa Monica's entertainment/fashion district, with no job lined up. I packed my boxes. Broke a lease with no new tenants, and headed to the desert. I feel that this a direction God has led me. But as this is my 30th night of sleep in this town and its my 22nd of listless tossing and turning and being up all night, I am not seeing resolutions to many of these changes. I am confident they are on their way. and my prayers are stronger than they've been before. But its now 1:27am and I'm not tired...
...and the only song in my head is David Bowie's Changes... I don't even like David Bowie
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