A Dusting Off

I do not know if you are like me but when life gets cluttered I notice it everywhere—from the clothes on my floor, the mound of books tumbling off the shelf, the icons on my computer desktop, and the trash on the street—and I am pushed me into drastic measures. It begins the massive effort for “Katie’s World Clean-Up Day/Week/Month.” Yes, it does last months sometimes. I clean up and reorganize everything. I attempt to figure out better methods to handle my chaos. I toss out what is not important.  And then, I put away the things that are important, but not necessary at the moment. Unfortunately, there are instances that I have gone too extreme in “Katie’s World Clean-Up.” As I shift things around while cleaning up, some stuff is put away that should not have been put away in the first place. Have you ever put something on a shelf that was useful, important, or treasured, and then you forget where it went?  Well, it is time to dust off a lot of things I have put on a shelf for a while. This blog, Beautiful Chaos, is one of them. I shifted it out of my focus and I lost an important outlet.

Life got cluttered, my brain got cluttered, and I started cutting things away.  I took away the blog because I thought I could not handle the time it takes to write. Unknowingly, I also took away something that effectively uncluttered my brain. As I been away from Beautiful Chaos, more thoughts have piled up in my brain that I could not find an outlet for. Writing a blog provides me a way to do many things. With it I can talk about my travels, tell the stories of an American living in Northern Ireland. I am able to process what God is speaking to me and communicate it with others. With the blog I can share what inspires and challenges me. It allows me communicate with people from home when I can’t stay on top of replying to emails, Facebook or Skype. The blog also helps me develop skills as a writer. By taking it away from myself, I actually began to notice my head starting to explode with ideas that I could not quite get out other ways.

I have learned that I love words. I love stories. I love describing the wonder that is in my mind and hearing the wonder that is in other’s minds. I love learning the skills that God is calling out in me, especially when I thought they were the absolute last things He had planned for me. I never thought I would call myself a writer. I use the term very loosely for now. Much improvement could be made on what I do, but it is process I am embarking on once again.

A few months back, I was at a retreat with my Encounter School of Mission Team. We were at the end of a long night, but we were all huddled in groups praying for one another, and I clearly heard God speaking to me that the arts were mine to take. I have always loved the arts, focusing mostly on design and art, but music, writing and theater have always intrigued me. That not only is design and art an area that God wants to expand in my life, but writing and music are as well. He was speaking to me that the world I see—one that sometimes seems so fantasy like, unusual, beautiful, difficult, far-fetched, confusing, and inspired—is something that is the basis of the arts for me and I needed to start writing again. After I heard this from God, a friend who was praying for me said the same thing, she spoke “Katie, it’s time to take the pen and paper out again.” It was a confirmation to me.

Confirmation yes, but finding the courage to step into again was another thing. It has taken a few months to act on instructions and desire. I know I shoved this blog on the shelf when it was never meant to be.  I was wary of making mistakes, filling my time too much, and focusing on the wrong things. Yet, I keep coming back writing, thinking about it, feeling the urge to write, and hearing the prompting to do so. So here I am, finding myself finally searching my shelves for one of those lost items that are treasured to me. It’s coming down and being dusted off. There needs to be some oil added to make it work again, but it’s being restored. The knicks and scratches don’t take away from anything but add to the charm. I know I have a unique perspective on life, we all do. I see chaos, yet I also see beauty. It’s time for sharing in the clean up of my mind.